Broken-Hearted Lover's Stew

<p>And there's a heartache and a memory and just a tear or two In a broken-hearted lover's stew</p><p>There are nine carrots to remind me of the ring I bought for you Some mint for all the lovely things we meant to d A lettuce 'cause your mom and dad would not let us alone I won't put in the truffles, you've got truffles of your own</p><p>An artichoke for the hearty jokes your father used to tell And as he was a Welshman, we'll have a leek as well And your cousin, the religious one – so sanctimonious For him, some loaves and fishes 'cause that's all he ever does</p><p>(And there's a heartache and a memory and just a tear or two) In a broken-hearted lover's stew</p><p>There is a swede for the Scandinavian man you left for me An egg because you used to egg me on incessantly And your little baby brother – what a messy little kid For him, some wine and water 'cause that's all he ever did Oh, I was fond of olives, and you liked herbs, I know I gave up seeing Olive, but Herb didn't want to go So for the man who won you, there is one thing I must do Put in some sage and onions 'cause he wants stuffing too</p><p>(And there's a heartache and a memory and just a tear or two) In a broken-hearted lover's stew (Oh, poo!)</p>