Maria, Maria

<p>She thinks she is slim like a willow She's just skinny and bony and tall If she hadn't been blessed with two warts on her chest She'd have no figure at all She likes to please all the men, but she's so terribly thin There is hardly enough to go round Once, she swallowed a whole pickled onion And twenty-four fellas left town</p><p>Oh, Maria, Maria, please say when You will be mine, mine alone How I long for the day when I can make you my own</p><p>Now, I used to part my hair down the center She said that was much too severe So just to please her, I parted it Across my head from ear to ear Tell me, how do you like my sexy hairstyle? I asked my Mexican rose Amigo, you look magnifico She whispered up my nose</p><p>Oh, Maria, Maria, please say when You will be mine, mine alone How I long for the day when I can make you my own</p><p>Now, we went to the open-air theater One summer night, in the park And soon, I had to excuse myself And I wandered off in the dark I got back to my seat next to her I had not been gone more than a minute I said: How was the show? She said: You ought to know 'Because, you silly great fool, you were in it!</p><p>Oh, Maria, Maria, please say when You will be mine, mine alone How I long for the day when I can make you my own</p><p>Now, she used to try to make tea cakes With a recipe her mother lent In my mouth, they melted like butter In my stomach, they set like cement Now, she used to experiment daily With different things that would fill me It was just like playing Russian Roulette 'Cause I never knew which meal would kill me</p><p>Maria, you said you'd be faithful But you cheated and you were untrue But if I had to do it all over again I'd do it all over you</p>